Our significant relationships offer feedback on how open we are to love, acknowledgement, and support. These partnerships reflect the quality of our relationship with ourselves and provide clues on recurring patterns that often lead to self-betrayal. During times of distress, the dynamics in our relationships can serve as a “wake-up call” to review the fine balance between self-loyalty and loyalty to others. One of our greatest challenges is maintaining that delicate balance while establishing harmony.
Whenever we feel powerless in a relationship, it’s easy to compromise our worth, integrity, and choices. Out of fear, we often put on blinkers, go into denial, and tell ourselves things are OK, contrary to how we genuinely feel. We step over things rather than stop and respond to our honest feelings. If we live in fear of being judged or rejected by a partner, friend, family member, or co-worker, and withhold our needs and concerns, it will eventually lead to self-betrayal or betraying another. Following the 4 essential steps below will help you balance self-loyalty and loyalty to others.
# 1. Recognise the Power of Your Choices: Value Your Self-Worth and Integrity
How often do you do things you know are detrimental to your well-being and believe you don’t realistically have a choice, even though you know in the long run it doesn’t make you happy? Interrupt the cycle by asking yourself, “Does this choice empower me and help me to move forward? Are my actions aligned with what I genuinely want in my heart?” If the answer is no, take a small step toward caring for and caring about yourself, especially when you’re caretaking others.
To stay true to that path it’s essential we look into what we’re honestly willing to put up with in a relationship and consider the ramifications. We cannot blame anyone else for our discomfort because we have the right to choose. Compromising your worth or your integrity dilutes the power of your choices. If we go into denial or skirt the truth, we will eventually experience a breakdown – mentally, emotionally or physically.
Following your truth is integral to living a happy, harmonious life and loyalty to self is a key factor.
# 2. Be True to Yourself by Always Keeping Your Best Interests at Heart.
Any superficial or half-hearted decisions you make to avoid conflict or seek approval will leave you feeling empty. An important step is getting in touch with what genuinely feels right, good, and true for you using your intuitive senses. It’s essential your head and your heart are in harmony to help you make beneficial choices that support positive actions.
We can easily fall prey to forfeiting our power when it comes to pleasing others, rather than being mindful of the impact on our emotions. Desire and ambition can be positive or negative depending on our underlying intentions. Betraying yourself to be loved or accepted by others will diminish your self-respect and lead to discontent. The same applies if you attempt to fit into an idealized image of who you believe you are supposed to be to be valued. Doing anything to seek validation or prove our worth is a form of self-betrayal that robs us of our freedom.
# 3. Care For and About Yourself by Taking a Gentle Yet Firm Stand for Your Own Well-Being
It’s up to you to allow yourself to live the life you genuinely want to live and be the person you ultimately want to be. The way you see yourself will either open you up or close you off to wonderful opportunities available to you. Solely attempting to fulfil other people’s expectations can easily lead to self-betrayal. Rather than being authentically self-expressed, you will feel as though you “have to” rather than have a genuine desire to do something beneficial for others or yourself. Whatever you do will feel like a chore, a struggle, or even torture unless you are genuinely at peace with the exchange and experience the benefits.
# 4. Honour Your Feelings. Not Just Your Emotions, but Your Deepest Feelings and Intuition.
The bottom line is that you are the one who needs to be happy with yourself when you rest your head on the pillow at the end of the day. No matter where you are in the world, or who you are with, you still have to live with yourself. This is why it’s important to strive to overcome your fears and doubts. It takes courage and discipline to practice self-love and acceptance – but you are worth every bit of effort it takes. You alone are the caretaker of your heart and soul because you are the one who ultimately chooses what you experience. Choose wisely, based on what you feel is aligned with your highest good, while considering the highest good of others. The scales then remain judiciously balanced based on mutual care and responsibility.
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